What’s the fastest way to get over a breakup? Those who are suffering the pains of a breakup would ask this question. If you are one of these people, then most likely you just want the pain to end.
If that’s the case, then let me tell you that the fastest way to get over a breakup is to accept what has happened.
Sounds simple enough? Others may beg to differ.
Imagine being in a long term relationship, the kind that you thought would last forever. Then problems arise, you fight, you get angry, then before you know it you’re splitting up. It doesn’t sink in at first, but when it does you feel the heart ache and the loneliness. You’re left feeling empty in an empty apartment and not but memories and material stuff to remind you of your ex.
What do you do?
- You deny it and tell yourself that it’s not over
- You keep hoping that your ex will come to their senses and come back to you
- You refuse to believe that you’re single once more
- You call your ex and try to talk things through and you end up disappointed because your ex doesn’t really want to talk about it
- You call your ex and they end up getting annoyed because the last thing they want to do is talk to you
- You imagine yourself and your ex getting back together even though you know that this time it’s final
All of these scream denial. You don’t want to accept the fact that your ex is gone. You’re still hoping that they’ll come back and things will be just as it were. Just as it were? Like all the fighting, all the tears, the restlessness and hopelessness, all the lies? Is that what you really want to go back to?
You need to face the fact that some things are meant to end and maybe this relationship is one of them. It’s not your fault, maybe it’s not even your ex’s fault. It could be because the two of you are just not compatible and not meant to be together. In other words, your ex is obviously not “the one.”
What you need to do instead
- First, you can take a look at the big picture. While it’s not really anyone’s fault, ask yourself how you contributed to the problems of your relationship? Learn from your mistakes so that you won’t do them again the next time you fell in love (yes, you can fall in love again) and have a relationship with someone else.
- How do you react and deal with insecurities, confrontations, and conflicts? Are you all over the place, screaming and refusing to listen to reason? Or are you able to handle the situation in a calm and mature way?
- You need to accept people for who they are if expect them to accept the real you. Maybe a part of you couldn’t accept your ex for who they are but rather, you want to accept them for how they “should” be.
- Be sure that you are in control of your feelings and not the other way around. Feel the pain and the grief so that you can heal but don’t let it rule your life.
Acceptance is the fastest way to get over a breakup because when your mind is telling you that it really is over, then you will not visualize yourself in fantasies of you and your ex getting back together. You will be able to feel sad and tell yourself that it’s over then bounce back in your life and slowly start to move on.